new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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