There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize