I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
