Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
