Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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