She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
