if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
