It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
