I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
