if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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