I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
