i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
