I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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