You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
