i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
