He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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