My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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