I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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