Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
