I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
