Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
