that's an acceptable place to lick
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
