If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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