Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
