You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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