is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
