So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
