Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
