i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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