wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
