he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
