Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
