my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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