Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
