Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize