i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
