dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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