____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we made out on top of his cat.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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