My nipple is on Facebook.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He passed out mid-signature
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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