she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
