Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
