i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You took a bar mat shot.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize