Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ladies don't puke and tell
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.