Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
