My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
