If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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