You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
