If i come over, it means nothing
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize