sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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