In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
