They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
