the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
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My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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