So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
