problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
