if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize