Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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