hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
