Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
